Month: October 2019

Common Parenting Mistakes

6 Well-Intentioned Parenting Mistakes to Avoid

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Introduction Every parent makes mistakes with their kids.  Kids are resilient and in many ways built to survive parental error.  Almost all mistakes are forgivable–especially if they are recognized as mistakes.  As a psychotherapist, I have observed a strange paradox time and time again: some of the most pernicious parenting mistakes are the ones about which parents are certain are not mistakes.  That is to say, that these particular foibles contain three destructive elements: 1) The mistake is well intentioned and therefore is not recognized as harmful (and therefore may recur with high frequencies without the insensitivity being acknowledged); 2)The parent through superior power and intellect forces his/her conviction that the mistake is in fact beneficial to the child; and 3)The child believes that any negative feelings, misgivings, or correct intuitions he/she has about the behavior/attitude in questions are in fact proof of the child’s defectivity.   “some day, maybe, there will exist a well-informed, well-considered, and yet fervent public conviction that the most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of child’s spirit; for …

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
Getting reimbursed for therapy

Out-of-Network Insurance Benefits: A Guide to Getting Reimbursed for Psychotherapy

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Introduction: I hear a lot of people (legitimately) complain about the cost of psychotherapy.  However, there is a subset of these folks that have great insurance that allows them to be either partially or fully reimbursed for sessions outside their network.  Because the paperwork can be a deterrent to seeking therapy, and because it can simply be confusing, I decided to create an informational post about how to submit paperwork for out-of-network claims with a focus on psychotherapy.  By the end of this post, you should have the information you need to bill your insurance company for your psychotherapy.  Any feedback or questions would be of great help to make this the most user-friendly and informative content on the topic out there. Be sure to read or skim all the way to the end for the additional resources. Getting Started: As a first step, the name and address of your insurance’s claims department must be printed or typed into the upper right hand corner of the CMS-1500.  The example below is the address for medicare/medicaid …

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
Adolf The Cat | Trauma | PTSD

Adolf the Cat: A Story About Trauma

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Below is an excerpt from the article entitled: “Something Wicked This Way Comes: Trauma, Dissociation, and Conflict: The Space Where Psychoanalysis, Cognitive Science, and Neuroscience Overlap” by Philip Bromberg, a leading figure in the world of trauma and psychoanalysis.  I share it to add texture and depth to the term trauma–a term often tossed around without precision or a shared understanding.  I’ll present some takeaways at the end of the post.  However, the story stands alone as a parable about trauma. When I was a kid, an endless source of fascination was looking out of my bedroom window at our backyard garden to silently observe the mysterious interactions between the animals, birds, trees, bushes and flowers.  But like the Garden of Eden, it received periodic visits from an infamous inhabitant of our neighborhood: A cat who was referred to by everyone in the vicinity as Adolf (I was a World War II kid). Adolf was an aggressive, predatory, seemingly fearless animal, whose viciousness and mean-temperedness terrorized the other neighborhood cats as well as most of …

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
panic attacks and existential anxieties

6 Existential Anxieties That Could Be the Cause of Your Panic Attacks

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Panic attacks are among the most common and most distressing symptoms I see as a therapist.  Not only do people encounter some of their most primitive existential fears, such as feeling like they are dying or going crazy, panic sufferers also have to deal with the repetitive (and often unpredictable) nature of panic, and the fact that others cannot fully appreciate the intensity of the experience. Search the web and you’ll find a ton of strategies to deal with panic attacks.  In my opinion, very few (none in fact that I have found) adequately address different types of panic attacks.  While I do not explicitly address tips for dealing with panic here, I believe we can optimize our coping strategies for anxiety attacks by first identifying what the panic is and what it is signifying.  I identify six types of panic that I have observed in clinical practice below. I do not accept that panic attacks “come out of nowhere.” While cues may not be easily identifiable, experience has taught me that there is ALWAYS …

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share

The “No” Quadrant: When To Say “No” and Maintain Healthy Boundaries

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

To be healthy in our emotional life we need good boundaries.  What does it mean to have good boundaries? In a basic sense, good boundaries means being able to define yourself and your values as distinct and separate from those of others.  Defining ourselves is important because we must first be separate to fully experience and benefit closeness to others. In all relationships we need to be able to protect our interests, take care of others without excessive sacrificing of our needs, and maintain the freedom to say no.  These abilities correlate highly with self-confidence, self-esteem, and healthy intimate connections with others. Good boundaries are incompatible with two of the most common afflictions of modern society, anxiety and depression. Saying no is a critical aspect of boundary-setting, as denying others’ requests is essential to freedom. Without freedom, relationships begin to feel like servitude. Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, is an approach to treating a condition notorious for both poor boundaries and extreme states of distress.  Marsha Linehan, the creator and matriarch of DBT, provides a …

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share