All posts filed under: Toxic Relationship

Forgiveness Part II: Why forgiveness is important to your mental health and wellbeing

Granting forgiveness can be one of the most difficult things you ever do. But, despite its challenges, forgiveness isn’t simply something you are giving to someone else. It can actually be just as important and powerful to your own wellbeing, aside from the feelings of the person who is being forgiven. We’re previously spoken to experts about how you would define forgiveness – and if you’re wondering “What is true forgiveness?”, you can read our article redefining the term here. Now, in Part Two of our exclusive series exploring forgiveness through the expertise of qualified psychologists, relationship experts, marriage counselors, psychiatrists, and spirituality experts, we delve into the importance of forgiveness, with particular regard to one’s own mental and spiritual health. Here, Mindsplain’s network of experts weigh in on the benefits of forgiveness when it comes to your own wellbeing… Why is forgiveness important? Award-winning licensed clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Dr Michael Kinsey, Ph.D., explains that, first of all, is a must, but requires work, saying, “It’s essential and very difficult. Pain and loss transform …

What is forgiveness and why is it important? Part 1

Published by Bex April May

Forgiveness: it’s something we talk about a lot, but is much easier said than done. While our emotions around forgiving and the wrongs leading up to it can be some of the most traumatic in life, forgiveness can also be one of the single most important ways to process and grow from our experiences. It’s also completely in your control – and can allow you to take total ownership of a situation, no matter how hurt you have been by it. In this exclusive series, we’ll investigate different facets of forgiveness through the eyes of qualified psychologists, psychiatrists, relationship experts, marriage counselors, couples therapists, and spirituality experts to help you better understand forgiveness, and how to effectively apply it to your own circumstances. What is true forgiveness? So, let’s start at the beginning: how do you define ‘forgiveness’? As award-winning licensed clinical psychologist and psychotherapist Dr Michael Kinsey, Ph.D., explains, there are several layers to defining the term as we understand it in psychology. “The etymology of forgiveness is quite interesting,” Dr Kinsey says, “First, …

Link between Narcissism and Erectile Dysfunction

Uncovering The Surprising Link Between Erectile Dysfunction And Narcissism… And What It Reveals About Impotence Treatment

Published by Bex April May

Erectile dysfunction and narcissism are two psychological ideas which, when you experience them, can consume many other aspects of your life. But, you might be surprised to learn that these phenomena, though on the surface seemingly totally separate, might actually be related. Interestingly, understanding this relationship can also be the key to treating both concerns with therapy, too. Clinical psychologist and author, Michael Kinsey, Ph.D., has noted a definitive link between the two in his patients. “In my clinical practice, I have often seen erectile dysfunction occur alongside hypermasculine displays of narcissism,” he confirms. Although erectile dysfunction tends to be a problem experienced later in life, Dr. Kinsey explains that the seeds for it are planted in the environment men have grown up in. “The foundation for later problems, including getting and maintaining erections, can be built when men have been reared in a macho environment,” Dr. Kinsey says, “Some features of such an environment include where there has been punishment for signs of vulnerability (which is viewed as a weakness), where they have experienced …

3 Top Relationship Experts Explain Cheating

Published by Bex April May

Infidelity is one of the most emotionally devastating and life-changing events we can go through – whichever side of the act we find ourselves on. But cheating is also a gray area when it comes to relationships: the definitions of it can be loose, and different people’s interpretations and motivations can differ greatly. With lines blurred and definitions muddled, an expert’s advice can be all the more essential. We spoke to three relationship experts and psychologists to discover the differences in cheating when it comes to men and women, how to tell if you are being cheated on, and what to do if you are. Why do people cheat? It sounds like a simple question, but the answer is complex. As clinical psychologist Michael Kinsey, PhD explains, “Cheating is communication through action. Action is a more primitive way of communicating and, in the intricate world of human relationships, is an unwieldy, blunt instrument.” “There are any number of reasons why someone will ‘act out’ through infidelity. Let’s distinguish between two broad categories: One is personality-based …

What is the Definition of Passive-Aggressive? 13 Experts Weigh In

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Introduction Recently, I sought out a definition for passive-aggression–a term I felt I understood implicitly, but found difficult to define in precise terms. I came across one cheeky definition that I found compelling in a book by Ashta-Deb; the author defined passive aggression in the following way: “Passive-Aggression – the act of being covertly spiteful with the intent of inflicting mental pain.” I still like this definition very much. I find it especially validating when I’m on the receiving end of what I believe to be particularly nasty forms of passive-aggression. Though I like Ashta-Deb’s snappy definition, it still left me with unanswered questions. For example, Is passive-aggression conscious or unconscious? Is it always “spiteful”? Is the “mental pain” it inflicts the same type of pain? I further realized in searching for a definition for passive-aggressive behavior, that even though the term can be found in the psychoanalytic literature, its use transcends any particular theoretical orientation and/or school of thought. Over the years, the term appears to have been appropriated by the masses, which I …

Transcendent Parenting: Workbook for Parents Sharing Children with Narcissists

Transcendent Parenting: A Workbook For Parents Sharing Children With Narcissists

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Transcendent Parenting: A Workbook For Parents Sharing Children With Narcissists is a new book by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D. He developed the Transcendent Parenting system with the aim to of keeping you and your child focused on the things that matter most, rather than becoming caught up in time-consuming, energy-depleting, petty conflict with a narcissist. Here is an interview with the author. What is Transcendent Parenting (TP)? I developed Transcendent Parenting to help mothers and fathers who have children with narcissists navigate the never-ending flow of annoyances that arise from collaborating and coordinating with narcissists. Narcissists have a way of making very simple transactions complicated and contentious. The philosophy behind Transcendent Parenting is based in the emotional dynamics of narcissism. In particular, I find that narcissists consistently jockey to be the favored parent, the “good guy/gal,” the fun one, the laid back one, etc. This usually translates into a lot of provocations of the ex and manipulation of the child. Transcendent Parenting is designed to help parents sniff out narcissistic behavior and respond in ways that are effective, …