Alexander Kriss, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and author based in New York. His first book, The Gaming Mind: A New Psychology of Videogames and the Power of Play, was published in 2019.

He graduated from New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts with a B.F.A. in playwriting. He received his M.A. and Ph.D. in clinical psychology at The New School for Social Research. He is also an adjunct professor of psychology at The City College of New York and Fordham University. 

He has written about the intersection of mental health and technology for Salon, Psychology Today, and Logic.

Alex Kriss on “The Gaming Mind: A New Psychology of Videogames and the Power of Play”

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Q: What inspired you to write The Gaming Mind: A New Psychology of Videogames and the Power of Play?

AK: I started playing videogames with my father when I was five years old. They were an important part of my life throughout childhood, adolescence, and into adulthood, though I didn’t necessarily appreciate how important for a long time. As I began to develop a professional identity as a clinical psychologist, it seemed necessary to segregate that part of myself from the part that played games. Our culture tends to dismiss games as frivolous, at best, if not outright dangerous, and so for a time games and players were not at all something I studied or worked with as a clinician. Then I began to notice how frequently people were presenting to the settings in which I worked with a history of playing games, and how incurious my colleagues tended to be about this part of their psychology. Even those who were open to the notion that game-playing could be meaningful to a person had no real resources to turn to in order to better understand. Almost everything that existed in the professional or lay literature centered on games as a malevolent cause of addiction and violence.

So, I began to think about games — including my own relationship with them — more seriously, and through that process began to explore digital life more regularly in my work with patients. Over the course of about five years this culminated in writing The Gaming Mind, which is a humanistic look at why we play games and how they can be a window into who we are, what we are struggling with, and the people we might become.

What are the core psychic benefits of play?

Q: What are the most essential elements of play and what do you see as the core psychic benefits of play?

AK: Play is, above all else, the process of exploring different possibilities within a safe, contained space. This is a paraphrase of the definition given to play by Donald Winnicott, who wrote of the “potential space” that is formed when two or more people come together and intermingle their internal worlds with external reality. In this way play is a fundamental and universal means for people to learn more about themselves and others without becoming overwhelmed.

Play can facilitate joy, anger, competition, feelings of power and helplessness, all within the boundaries of the play space. Once play stops, all the players go back to being themselves. It is a means of trying on different hats — emotional states, identities, relationships with others — without needing to commit to wearing any beyond the duration of play itself.

Accessing other worlds through video games

Q: What do you see as the traditional elements of play that get preserved in popular video games? Which elements of play do you see getting lost?

AK: Video games are without question one means of creating potential space, of entering into an environment in which the player can explore different aspects of themselves while interacting with an external reality.

Unlike other forms of play —such as pretend play, sports, board games, or intellectual repartee — the boundaries of video games are defined less by other people than the computer, the software.

Video games occupy a unique paradox in this way: they realize other worlds far more vividly than most other forms of play, yet the rules dictating how the player interacts with those worlds are far less flexible.

Misconceptions of video games

Q: What are some of the most common misconceptions parents and social critics have about video games?

AK: The idea that video games cause violence is probably the most insidious and incorrect idea that many people carry. It’s a conclusion that emerged out of political fervor post-Columbine at the turn of the millennium, and the social sciences — especially psychology — did not do an adequate job maintaining objectivity amidst the tumult.

The truth is, videogames do not cause anything in particular. They are not a monolithic force, but a diverse art form that players enter into a relationship with.

How to talk about video games with your child

Q: What advice would you give to parents who are struggling to create limits and expectations around their child’s video game usage?

AK: The most important prerequisite to helping a child maintain healthy boundaries with games is to show curiosity in their play, and to take their interest in play seriously.

If a parent sees themselves as being at war with a video game, wrestling with it for their child’s attention, the child is being primed to become oppositional in the face of limit-setting.

If, however, the child has a sense that the parent understands the importance of games to them, the parent gains greater credibility as a limit-setter, and the act of creating a boundary is less fraught with anxiety and conflict.

In short, I would (and do) advise parents to talk to their children about the games they play, and why, not just about the restrictions related to them.

Benefits of video games

Q: What are some of the overlooked psychic benefits of video games?

AK: There are so many different kinds of games that offer so many different kinds of social and emotional experiences.

They are a means to access aspects of the self and relationships that a player may struggle to make contact with in the so-called real world.

Often when it seems that a person is spending an inordinate amount of time playing a game, the assumption is that the game is the problem and removing it from the person’s life would improve their situation.

In my work I usually find that, in fact, it is in the game that the person has found a way to feel most like themselves. Perhaps they have achieved a sense of competence and mastery, or found an online community, that has up until that point eluded them in physical reality.

The goal, then, is not to remove the game from their life, but to help them find ways to bring their virtual self more and more into their broader world.

Dr. Kriss’ therapy practice

Q: How would you describe your way of working with patients?  Who do you generally see? How can people get in touch with you who might be interested in becoming a patient of yours?

AK: I work with adolescents and adults dealing with a wide range of issues, including anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and compulsive relationships with digital media.

My approach is open-ended and exploratory, drawing from psychoanalytic and existential traditions.

More information about my practice and writing, including contact information, can be found on my website, www.alexkriss.com.