All posts tagged: tips

The Importance of Free Play

Free Play: Why It’s Important and How to Get Your Kids to Participate

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Guest Post by Shalom K. Introduction Play is a crucial part of any child’s growth and development. It is a means for them to explore new things, learn, and develop. Your child learns to depend on their capabilities, building their self-worth and self-esteem. Having raised my kids full time and homeschooling them, I have had to come up with strategies that will help them engage in play and learning. Before we get to the strategy, let’s first understand what free play is and why it’s so essential for kids. What is Free Play? Free play is any unstructured, voluntary, child-initiated activity that lets kids develop their imagination while exploring their environs. It is the spontaneous play that is born from a child’s curiosity, enthusiasm, and love of discovery. It can include playing with dolls, blocks, crayons, clay, paper, and so on: anything that allows free, creative play. Outdoor play is the best form of free play. When kids are outside, they explore different things in nature and discover bugs they would have otherwise missed if …

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Get more out of mindfulness

Mindfulness “What Skills”: How To Get More Out of Being Mindful

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Imagine the following.  You’re sitting at home alone, amid a rare chunk of free time.  You stop scrolling through Netflix aimlessly and decide to do something “productive.” A million ideas come to mind of things you could do.  Run an errand? Pay a bill? Call your mother? Nothing feels like the right thing to do with this precious gift from the gods of modern living.   Suddenly, it clicks.  Mindfulness! All these monks, therapists, and TED talkers seem to think it’s the cat’s pajamas.  Let’s give it a whirl. You review a trusted protocol on how to be mindful.  You know, the one that starts with “Find a comfortable position with your back straight…” You focus on your breath.  You watch your thoughts. You notice yourself drifting off.   *Dinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg*  The meditation timer rings and you don’t feel at all transformed.  You want to get it, but you just can’t see what the fuss is about. All those enlightened gurus can’t be wrong though? You think, “What’s wrong with me?” If this story sounds familiar, then this …

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Dealing with Stubborn and Unmotivated Kids? Read This…

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Guest Post by NikWilk Every parent gets frustrated from time to time. If you can train the dog not to bark so loudly by giving his nose a swat, is that acceptable in child-rearing? Some parents think it should be! But motivating a kid is a lot harder than motivating a pet, and the results far more rewarding. Homework One of the many frustrating things parents must deal with is homework. And perhaps your first mistake is taking this burden onto yourself, rather than placing it where it belongs – on your child. To a large extent, a child will be careless about homework simply because he or she knows just how much you feel responsible for them completing it. It can devolve into a matter of control. Children have such little control over their lives, they may choose to exercise what control they have in inappropriate situations, such as homework. The more important it is to you, the more they will sense they have the upper hand. Or control of the situation. You must …

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Putting The Pieces Back Together: 5 Tips On Mending A Broken Heart

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Breaking up with a romantic partner is pure agony.  While it’s worse to be dumped, ending a longterm relationship is no picnic either.  In both cases, our brains and bodies experience the same kinds of effects that folks who are depressed and recovering from addiction feel.  The harsh reality is dealing with loss in any area of life takes time and there is no quick and easy way out. Fortunately, we don’t have to grieve forever, and if we approach the breakup with the right mindset, we emerge from the darkness of loss a more well-rounded person.  Five things that can minimize damage and promote healing are the following: 1. Practice acceptance; 2. Do damage control; 3. Take inventory; 4. Plant a seed; and 5. Befriend the future.   Practice Acceptance: The shortest way out of the pain of breakup is to find a way to reconcile, right?  In most cases, chasing the urge to get back together with your ex simply delays the inevitable.  For every bushel of breakups, only a small handful are …

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Stop Passive Aggressive People

6 Tips to Crush Passive Aggressive Behavior

Published by Michael Kinsey, Ph.D.

Passive Aggression Passive aggression is difficult to define, but tends to be unmistakable when we encounter it.  It can take many forms: a backhanded compliment, an act of martyrdom, a plaintive remark that’s “not about you” (but almost certainly is).  Even more frustrating are more ambiguous and disavowed actions that seem to be about something bigger than the issue at hand. Showing emotional distance, “forgetting” to do something important, not responding to a text message, or simply expressing small grievances when a bigger complaint is the elephant in the room. So what makes the passive aggressive behavior we receive so frustrating?  I believe the attack in passive aggression to be a combination of abandoning and “gaslighting” (i.e., making someone doubt the validity of their own thoughts, feelings, and/or perceptions).  We’ve all had the experience of impotently asking an passive-aggressive offender the naive question “What’s wrong?” The inevitable reply? “Nothing.” The perpetrator of passive aggression delights in our anxious feeling that something is off, our powerlessness in resolving the main issue, and the needy persistence with …

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