All posts tagged: primal scene

Envy & Destroying Others' good fortune

Envy: The Camouflaged Emotion

More and more I encounter an emotion in patients that is quiet, hidden, nagging, and insidious.  Most people seem surprised when it’s named, and the notion of inviting an open exploration of the feeling in their relationships seems quite unthinkable.  To own the emotion feels shameful, and the detection of said emotion elicits guilt in the perceiver. It’s a primitive feeling we can easily recognize, yet conveniently tend not to take notice of.  What is the feeling?   Envy. It’s at the heart of relationship problems, in families and between lovers.  Its corrosive properties lurk at the heart of political divides and toxic discourse.  Individuals and groups grow further apart and disparities emerge, more seeds of envy are sewn. What is the Experience of Envy? One thing I find interesting about envy is that it is much easier to feel than it is to define.  As stated above, it’s primitive and easy to access in our bodies. But what exactly is it?   Before defining it, I invite you to feel in your body.  Bring to mind …