All posts tagged: marsha linehan

feelings as facts in bpd

“My truth”: Why Sufferers of Borderline Personality Disorder Treat Feelings as Facts

People with a Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis can often seem to overvalue their own thoughts and feelings.  In the cognitive behavioral therapy tradition, this phenomenon gets labeled as “emotional reasoning.”  The logic of emotional reasoning goes like this:  what I feel or think with conviction MUST be true because I feel so strongly that it’s true. The problem, of course, is many things feel true that aren’t.  For example, the earth feels flat, but isn’t.  A watched pot may feel like it takes forever to boil, but it always does given the burner works and is turned on. Here’s where it gets complicated.  People with BPD treat their thoughts and feelings as facts because: Caregivers historically have not taken their thoughts and feelings seriously at all (i.e., invalidating emotional environment) The invalidating emotional environment makes sufferers of BPD self-invalidate; this means, they don’t take themselves seriously! Why would someone who doesn’t really believe that their internal world matters treat their thoughts and feelings as factual?  The answer is quite simple: it’s too painful to relive …

Sleep Tips 2020 | Therapy NYC | Find a Therapist

Sleep Tips for 2020

This is a comprehensive guide to better sleep. In this article you’ll learn six actionable sleep tips: The psychology of insomnia. Ideal conditions for sleep. How to stop nightmares. 7 actionable steps to sleep better. 8 sleep hygiene tools that get results. How to use “brain tapping” to fall asleep. Let’s get started. Psychology of Insomnia It’s useful to remember that, in one way or another, we all seek relaxation through sensations that bring us back to a state of complete, passive, dependency – the most profound of these experiences being the period in which we were nestled safely inside our mother’s womb. Sounds, beats, enclosed spaces can all take us back to this state, where letting go, relaxing, and falling asleep posed no challenge. Since sleep is one of the most natural things we do, insomnia is typically an issue with experience overriding this natural proclivity due to perceived risk to survival. This episode of Radiolab on sleep makes a compelling case that predation threat is one such environmental factor that could make falling asleep difficult. Difficulties falling …

Envy & Destroying Others' good fortune

Envy: The Camouflaged Emotion

More and more I encounter an emotion in patients that is quiet, hidden, nagging, and insidious.  Most people seem surprised when it’s named, and the notion of inviting an open exploration of the feeling in their relationships seems quite unthinkable.  To own the emotion feels shameful, and the detection of said emotion elicits guilt in the perceiver. It’s a primitive feeling we can easily recognize, yet conveniently tend not to take notice of.  What is the feeling?   Envy. It’s at the heart of relationship problems, in families and between lovers.  Its corrosive properties lurk at the heart of political divides and toxic discourse.  Individuals and groups grow further apart and disparities emerge, more seeds of envy are sewn. What is the Experience of Envy? One thing I find interesting about envy is that it is much easier to feel than it is to define.  As stated above, it’s primitive and easy to access in our bodies. But what exactly is it?   Before defining it, I invite you to feel in your body.  Bring to mind …