All posts tagged: envy

Deconstructing Narcissism: A Model of Emotional Dynamics of the Narcissistic Personality

Introduction: With the aim of simplifying and clarifying my own understanding of the dynamics of the narcissistic personality, I set out to create a simple, clear flow chart. In particular, I wanted to link the grandiose narcissistic behavior, with narcissistically-injured/deflated narcissism, and other forms egocentrism can take.  What I ended up with was not the neat, simple chart I had in mind. Instead, I got the thing above. Still, it helped me to clarify a bunch of stray thoughts, experiences, and theory associated with narcissism. I’ll do my best to go through the different components and make it more clear. Inside Out: The first thing to know while looking at the chart is that the center represents what the narcissist feels, and would express if asked. For the narcissistic organization, it’s important to understand that the area of emotional awareness is very small.  Most of the big and powerful emotions are outside of conscious awareness. However, the narcissist will likely only experience a diffuse sense of anxiety and/or depression. On the outermost area of the …

Envy & Destroying Others' good fortune

Envy: The Camouflaged Emotion

More and more I encounter an emotion in patients that is quiet, hidden, nagging, and insidious.  Most people seem surprised when it’s named, and the notion of inviting an open exploration of the feeling in their relationships seems quite unthinkable.  To own the emotion feels shameful, and the detection of said emotion elicits guilt in the perceiver. It’s a primitive feeling we can easily recognize, yet conveniently tend not to take notice of.  What is the feeling?   Envy. It’s at the heart of relationship problems, in families and between lovers.  Its corrosive properties lurk at the heart of political divides and toxic discourse.  Individuals and groups grow further apart and disparities emerge, more seeds of envy are sewn. What is the Experience of Envy? One thing I find interesting about envy is that it is much easier to feel than it is to define.  As stated above, it’s primitive and easy to access in our bodies. But what exactly is it?   Before defining it, I invite you to feel in your body.  Bring to mind …