Many years ago at a training for how to de-escalate emotionally disturbed teenagers, my instructor illustrated the concepts of negative and positive reinforcement with the following example: You take your child to the grocery store.  After gathering all your items, your three-year-old inquires “Mom, can I have this candy bar?” “No Honey, I already got you those cookies you wanted, remember?” “But I want this!” The exchange continues until your child is crying and screaming.  Just before you complete your errand and move on to the next item on an impossibly long list of chores, this embarrassing scene arises.  You can feel the eyes of other customers bearing down on you, judging you and your impotent parenting.   With things to do and resentful glares upon you, you grab the candy bar with an indignant huff from your child’s hand and present it to the cashier.   “And this too,” you utter in defeat.   Your child’s wailing ceases and you are back on schedule–all for a paltry sum of a buck fifty. In this episode, both you …