All posts tagged: dbt

Get more out of mindfulness

Mindfulness “What Skills”: How To Get More Out of Being Mindful

Imagine the following.  You’re sitting at home alone, amid a rare chunk of free time.  You stop scrolling through Netflix aimlessly and decide to do something “productive.” A million ideas come to mind of things you could do.  Run an errand? Pay a bill? Call your mother? Nothing feels like the right thing to do with this precious gift from the gods of modern living.   Suddenly, it clicks.  Mindfulness! All these monks, therapists, and TED talkers seem to think it’s the cat’s pajamas.  Let’s give it a whirl. You review a trusted protocol on how to be mindful.  You know, the one that starts with “Find a comfortable position with your back straight…” You focus on your breath.  You watch your thoughts. You notice yourself drifting off.   *Dinggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg*  The meditation timer rings and you don’t feel at all transformed.  You want to get it, but you just can’t see what the fuss is about. All those enlightened gurus can’t be wrong though? You think, “What’s wrong with me?” If this story sounds familiar, then this …

Envy & Destroying Others' good fortune

Envy: The Camouflaged Emotion

More and more I encounter an emotion in patients that is quiet, hidden, nagging, and insidious.  Most people seem surprised when it’s named, and the notion of inviting an open exploration of the feeling in their relationships seems quite unthinkable.  To own the emotion feels shameful, and the detection of said emotion elicits guilt in the perceiver. It’s a primitive feeling we can easily recognize, yet conveniently tend not to take notice of.  What is the feeling?   Envy. It’s at the heart of relationship problems, in families and between lovers.  Its corrosive properties lurk at the heart of political divides and toxic discourse.  Individuals and groups grow further apart and disparities emerge, more seeds of envy are sewn. What is the Experience of Envy? One thing I find interesting about envy is that it is much easier to feel than it is to define.  As stated above, it’s primitive and easy to access in our bodies. But what exactly is it?   Before defining it, I invite you to feel in your body.  Bring to mind …