We live in an interconnected world–a world where the 24-hour news cycle and social media confronts us with the most extreme ends of human experience.  One hour, we might be watching the Kardashians vacation or unwind in their multimillion-dollar mansion.  The next hour (or perhaps even the same hour!) we could be scrolling through instagram seeing haunting images of oppression, invasion, illness, destruction, and other powerful stories of the most profound levels of human suffering.

Whether we find ourselves more engaged with those we envy or those we pity, our voyeurism is sure to leave us in a darker place than where we started.

It’s true that we would be better off if we simply disengaged.  Stop doomscrolling. Stop engaging with trolls.  Stop watching the news.  Stop immersing yourself in the lives of the rich, beautiful, and overindulged. 

But that advice might be skirting a very rational question: how can we be happy when others are suffering through no fault of their own?

The first question: do you really want to not suffer?

If you’re asking yourself: “how can I be happy when so many are suffering?” the first question to address is “why are you asking?” In other words, I often hear this question as a rhetorical question.  The question might be more of an assertion of the following argument:

“I’m totally justified in being unhappy and depressed and am tired of other people suggesting I should feel otherwise.”

Now, if you really want to be happy, then read on.  However, if you’re looking for reasons to feel anger, righteous indignation, sadness, nihilistic despair, and depressive realism, there are innumerable media outlets and social media accounts to provide the gratification you seek.

My purpose here is to take the question at face value.  How do you escape the doom and gloom of the world and move into feelings of wellbeing, agency, and healthy engagement with life?

Why would anyone want to choose unhappiness over happiness?

It comes as a surprise to many people who begin therapy that it’s possible to choose suffering over happiness.  Why would anyone do such a thing?

People have their reasons.  And of course, no one does so entirely consciously or voluntarily.  Below I’ve listed a few (but certainly not all) of the reasons why people make an unconscious decision to feel anxious, depressed, and pessimistic about their fate, the world, and the future.

Chronic guilt

Every human who lives in a society has to sacrifice some of his own longings, desires, and instincts to exist harmoniously within collectives.  This begins with family, but eventually becomes school, religious communities, until eventually broader, more abstract demands of the country and culture.  Guilt is the emotion we learn to feel when we transgress or get more than our fair share.  It’s helpful for societies to teach its members to feel guilty when one of its members has acted out of step with cherished values and agreements about what’s just.

The problem is that things can never be “fair.” Following the rules does not prevent someone for being envied, resented, and judged.

Parents envy their children for their youth, their energy, their future, their entitlement to doting care, and generally for having things that they themselves did not have when they were children.  Peers, colleagues, and community members later envy others for being better looking, having more money, more talent, future prospects, etc.

This is to say, someone can do everything “right”, break no rules, and still feel guilty based on the perception that s/he has gotten more than s/he deserves.  Many people learn to keep themselves small in order to satiate the unchecked envy of those around them–be it parents, friends, or respected community members.

What’s the natural consequence of this?  The cycle continues.  The individual who has agreed to feel guilty for talents and special characteristics begins to expect others to make greater sacrifices and envies those that take more than what’s “fair.”  

This is a recipe for judgment, self-righteousness, and suffering.

Getting to be right

One of the wonderful aspects of negative outcomes is that it’s easy to predict them.  The downside of being able to predict these outcomes is that you have to live with them.  But for many, that’s a trade off they are willing to make. 

One term for this is depressive realism and it’s actually a real phenomenon.  Make a dark prediction about the future and you’re likely to be right.  This is especially true in your own life.

Have you ever made statements to yourself or others that sound like the ones below?

• “I’ll never get that job.”
• “There’s no way I can get an A in that class.”
• “People like me never get accepted into that program.”
• “No one ever listens to my ideas.”

These are the kinds of statements that are deals with the devil.  There’s a good chance you’ll be right, but it’s certain you’ll suffer if you are.  You’ll be right because you try less hard (or not at all), appear less confident, torpedo your own efforts, self-sabotage, etc.  

But being right is comforting and, we believe, protects us from being too vulnerable and too sad.  

Validation of pain:

One paradox of being social creatures and dealing with painful emotions is that in order to move through something, we have to be able to recognize what it is and where it came from.  Much has been written about the developmental disasters that occur when young children are deprived of this emotional validation.

It’s often quicker in the demanding role of parent to talk children out of their feelings than to do the necessary emotional education of helping children to understand why they feel sad, hurt, angry, and upset.  The short-sightedness of this strategy ultimately backfires, understandable though it may be.

As human beings, we’ve established that it’s imperative sometimes we need to sacrifice our individual needs for the collective.  Before we can accomplish this, it’s important that we are able to fully understand the tradeoffs we are making.  In other words, you need to appreciate where your emotions are coming from, the problem your emotions are signaling, and why ignoring certain problems could be dangerous before moving on and accepting your fate.

It’s always a delicate balance between the individual needs and the collective good.  We cannot simply ignore the former for the sake of the latter.

In a related point, the question of how to feel okay in a world in crisis could be seen as a question that reverses the order of causality.  In other words, are you depressed because the world is in crisis, or are you finding all of the pain in the world because you want (and, perhaps need) to validate your pain? 

If it’s validation you crave, then there are other ways to do this.  Successfully moving through depressive bouts means finding the emotions underlying it–usually a cocktail of guilt, shame, sadness, and anger, and validating these feelings without relying on the doom and gloom of the 24-hour news cycle to emotionally harmonize with you.

Underdeveloped Identity

Building a mature, healthy identity is one of the hardest things human being have to do–especially in the complex world we live in now.  The task involves having a well-developed sense of who you are as an individual, recognizing the things that others value about you, then cultivating skills around your unique qualities, talents and gifts.

In hunter-gatherer times, finding a role within a much simpler system with fewer human resources was an easy task.  Now, not so much.  Finance, law, technology, the arts, academia, marketing, medicine, engineering, etc. are all abstractions so far away from the day-to-day skills that our ancestors used to survive.  It takes years to figure out what might be a match between our internal and external world in terms of filling an economic niche.

And, some people never find such a match.

When a person struggles to find a sense of belonging, one must ask the following question: 

“Is the problem with me or is the problem in the world?” 

You may recognize that this is a false dilemma.  The answer to the question could simply be that there is no problem with either.  Just keep looking for your place and your people.  

But, it’s tempting when the frustration level is high, to find problems with the world.  Fault finding with the world around us is flawed strategy, but a strategy nonetheless, to the problem of becoming a valued member of the social world.

The Narcissism of Happiness

And now for a provocative and controversial point.  Nevertheless, I believe it to be true.  The controversial premise is the following:

Happiness requires that the individual embrace a healthy amount of narcissism.

The noble sufferer is not incorrect in that there is great unfairness in the amount of ease, comfort, luxury, wealth, love, kindness, equality, respect, etc. that gets distributed by chance throughout the masses.  Some people just have it easier and better than others–and not just trivial differences.

Some children cry because they didn’t get the exact pony they desired.  Other children cry because their parents were killed in front of their eyes in cold blood and for incomprehensibly silly reasons.

This is to say, the madness of the world is truly something to fret about.  The pain and suffering “out there” is truly a problem and is not something that can be easily dismissed or trivialized using rational arguments.

But to make my point, let’s zoom out a bit more.  Let’s be even more rational.  Of what significance is human suffering?  Of what significance is your life, my life, or anyone else’s?  

Is the universe not infinitely vast?  Are our lives not infinitely short when you consider the age of the universe?  How can one reasonably argue that anything actually matters when we extend our frame of reference to the cosmic level?  Aren’t we all, as Yalom describes, mere parentheses in eternity?

The point I’m making is a rather simple one.  The state of mind required to lead a happy life full of subjective meaning and wellbeing is a totally separate state of mind than aiming to be purely rational and fully empathic.

Put in reverse, to feel happy and to lead a life that feels like it’s worth living, you must immerse yourself in your own story.  Your life must be like an enthralling film in which you are the protagonist.  You must find your own quest.  You must deny many known realities of the world, such as the profound levels of suffering on a global scale, and you must deny the profound indifference to our existence from the universe.

The most accurate term for this is healthy narcissism.  You are not selfish and empathetic to the characters in your orbit.  You may also find people to care about on a global scale–causes to champion and charities to support.  But you must accept your own limitations and your own selfishness in order to be a happy individual–and perhaps even a force for good in the world.

After all, depressed, miserable people crippled by their own depression tend not to be the ones who leave the world a better place than how they found it.

What does it mean to be “happy”, anyway?

Happiness is not an easy state to capture, because it’s assumed that even the happiest people struggle, have problems, have high and low points, and are just as vulnerable to the indignities of the human condition as everyone else. 

So, given that it’s impossible to be blissful and smiling every moment of the day, let’s unpack some of the elements of what it means to lead a happy life–or at the very least, a life worth living.

Identity = Authenticity + Value + Belonging

Every culture, society, country, community, etc. has problems.  Some more than others.  Criticizing these entities can lead to meaningful change.  But I believe it’s important to separate the project of changing society for the better from the task of finding your place in a society.  The latter is an essential problem to solve in order to find a sense of wellbeing in life.

No matter what you feel about your cultural context, there’s no getting around the importance of being somebody within that culture, feeling like you contribute something important, and feeling a sense of camaraderie.

Being somebody

It used to be that if you didn’t become a doctor or a lawyer, you weren’t a real success.  Over time, beliefs have changed about what it means to be successful.  Throughout the world, people do a better job of celebrating talent, skill, and meaningful contributions.  

You don’t have to be a lawyer, a doctor, or even have a traditional job.  Being a good father, a skilled drycleaner, or skilled bartender all have the potential to offer the rewards of being someone who adds value to your community.

Finding fit

Offering value to the world is only enjoyable and sustainable when we find an overlap between the needs of our community and our unique gifts.  This takes a lot of careful consideration or a lot of trial and error–perhaps both.  While it’s beyond the scope of this piece to offer tips and strategies for finding your place in the world, some useful questions to consider are the following:

• What do I like thinking about?
• Where does my attention want to go?
• What kind of discomfort is easiest for me to tolerate?
• What are the attributes and talents that I feel most confident about?
• What causes or problems are most important to me?

Serving others

The happiest people on earth are the ones that serve others.  You could argue that the happiness precedes the serving, but I think this is a bit of an academic point.  Whenever possible, I suggest following the example of the people who have what you want–in this case, a sense of wellbeing derived from making important contributions to the lives of others.

Who, how, where, and why you serve others is a very personal choice (see point above about “finding fit”).  It may not be easy to find the best way for you to serve others, but it’s probably worth the effort.  

Not only does serving others contribute to feelings of wellbeing, but it also helps to counteract any of the guilt one feels about feeling good in a suffering world.  We often hear the sound advice: “put your own oxygen mask on first.”  Well, what if it’s possible to take care of yourself at the same time you help others?  Serving others in a way that truly fulfills you might just be the way.

Belonging

It’s essential for everyone to feel like they are a part of a group of like-minded people.  Finding people with shared values and beliefs about the world doesn’t have to be a toxic in-group culture that’s rejecting of others.  It simply means that there are people in the world that accept you just for being you.  Your people allow you to feel comfortable being yourself and don’t make you work hard to be accepted.

Brene Brown, author of Dare to Lead and other popular books, makes the distinction between fitting in and belonging.  Fitting in is an active process where you alter your behavior, censor yourself, and put forth effort to be a part of a larger group.  Belonging, in contrast, feels easy and natural (but probably does not mean putting forth zero effort).  

Fitting in is not inherently bad.  Just make sure you have a place of belonging, too.

Freud’s Formula: Love & Work

Freud’s terse answer to what makes for a good life was “love and work.”  The simplicity is powerful and I think important on multiple levels.  On the surface, finding a sense of satisfaction in relationships and in your professional life are undoubtedly important because the average person spends most of the day working and then coming home to catch up with a partner/family.

But there is more to it than just that.  One could make valid criticisms that many cultures overvalue professional achievement and some of the happiest people lead lives of contented solitude.  So let’s abstract a bit and see what can be distilled from Freud’s definition to make them less concrete and misunderstood.

Engagement

When Freud spoke of love and work, one of the key features he highlighted about having success in these areas was a lack of inhibitions.  A lack of inhibitions is perhaps a slightly convoluted way of saying that one is engaged.  In other words, you don’t hold any of yourself back.  

As social creatures, humans are not merely content to only receive the things we need.  It’s vital we feel that we are giving of ourselves as well.  Full engagement with work and love means that we are giving of ourselves in an uninhibited way to the things that matter to us.  It could be in the areas of love and work, but perhaps it could be something else.

Flow

Flow might be redundant here because flow is a natural state of wellbeing that comes from being fully engaged.  Flow is the state of being “in the zone”, where attention is fully focused on the task at hand, things feel effortless despite facing a formidable challenge, and time seems to pass quickly.  The concept of flow, coined by Mahaly Csíkszentmihályi, is described in more detail in many other places.  

What’s important about flow is that it’s a state of pleasure and wellbeing that is not hedonistic or overly indulgent.  It comes from putting in effort and thus is not marred by the hangovers that come from pure pleasure seeking.  It’s also a state of mind that is the opposite of being overwhelmed by the world’s problems.  To be in flow is to have agency, to be empowered.  Being in flow means feeling capable, but challenged.  In a flow state your focus is narrow, specific, and directed towards a manageable task.

Ruminating about the desperate state of the world is the antithesis of flow and it should not surprise us that the consequences of despairing about the world produce negative consequences.  Since flow creates positive mental states, better to find it more often.

It may be generous to Freud to assume that he was aware of flow when extolling the benefits of love and work. However, I do believe that Freud was quite informed by the joyful flow states he achieved from writing and doing his clinical work when he highlighted love and work as essential to wellbeing.  I’ll own the speculation, though.

Fullness of feeling

If Freud taught us anything about life, it’s that it’s important to feel your feelings.  A good life can’t be one without pain or hardship, since everyone faces an abundance of both.  However, we can make our peace with the fact that life is full of ups and downs.  

The more courage we can summon to experience our feelings, the more likely we are to find what matters to us in both love and work.  The more emotionally attuned we are, the deeper the connections we can make to others and the more passionate we can be in the offering of ourselves to others–be that in work or any other kind of service.

When despairing about the world, it’s important to distinguish between feeling sad and angry versus a defensive shutting down.  In other words, it’s possible to cry and even rage at some of the world’s problems without getting stuck there.  Feel your feelings, but move on to feeling intensely about more local concerns.  Immerse yourself in challenges and problems that can be solved.

Again, we return to the importance Freud placed on being free from inhibitions.  To be successful in these areas means being passionate about who you love and what you do.  Success in love and work entails feeling your feelings.

Becoming your own parent = Treating yourself like you matter

It’s a cliche to talk about “self-care” in today’s world.  While I think it’s a cliche for good reason–namely because it’s imperative to a strong sense of wellbeing–I believe that we need to be a bit clearer about what’s meant by self-care.

Self-care connotes equal parts wholesomeness and pleasure most places I see it discussed, which I think is mostly right.  Other times, it is presented as a prescription for the chronically busy, the folks who work too hard and forget to take breaks.  This latter perspective I find a bit problematic.

Self-care is a mindset that all adults need to bring to their life.  Self-care certainly includes nice, wholesome things we do for ourselves that also give us pleasure.  Although, I don’t believe small acts of kindness to oneself is a comprehensive definition of self-care.

To me, self-care is an empowered state of mind that one can only achieve after mourning the loss of caregivers whose responsibility was to meet your every need in life.  Every grown up struggles, to one extent or another, with the fact that we no longer have parents to tend to our every need and responsibility.  We see this struggle when people complain about the parenting they did receive, complain about the deficiencies of friends and romantic partners, grievances about the government, and again when we look at the state of the world and how poorly cared for it often is.

Caring for oneself is an ongoing and iterative process because each of us has unique minds, bodies, and souls.  What’s more, these change as we change.  Self-care means accepting that we must become our own parents, and do a better job of it than our actual parents.  It means letting your actual parents off the hook and using that energy to focus on identifying and meeting your own needs.

There are an endless number of questions we need to answer in order to be competent at this.  I’ll provide a tiny fraction here to give a sense of what I mean by self care:

• What do I like to eat?
• How do I get proper nutrition?
• How do I ensure that my nutritional needs fits within my budget?
• How do I earn enough money?
• How do I find work or income streams that fit with my skills, talents, and preferences?
• How do I take care of my body?
• What kind of exercise do I enjoy?
• How do I keep myself from being lonely?
• How do I motivate myself when I’m feeling unmotivated?
• What traits do I look for in friends and romantic partners?
• Do I want to have a family?
• Where do I get help if I can’t do something on my own?

Etc., etc.

The problem of how to optimally take care of yourself is one that directly relates back to the original question: how do we feel happy when the world is so damaged?

Well, we accept responsibility for taking care of ourselves.  Of course, this is harder for some than others.  We don’t all have equal opportunities, and many of us have great disadvantages, if not disabilities.  

But, you play the hand you’re dealt.  

Looking at the wretched state of the world and giving up is cursing the dealer for your hand or the bad card selection of others.  I believe it’s a distraction from the game, and, perhaps an avoidance of playing the game altogether.

The game may not always be fun, but what’s the alternative?

Turning it around

Changing your life can feel like turning around a massive ship.  It takes a long time, looks more like a big arc than a hairpin turn, and begins with a commitment to stop going in the wrong direction.  It’s extremely helpful to have a guide, like a therapist, psychiatrist, or other expert who can become a trusted facilitator of the metamorphosis.  

It’s important to be transparent here that people have transformed their lives in all kinds of ways.  That means two things.  First, people do change their lives and so it’s possible to do.  And second, the way that works for you is likely to be quite personal.  That being said, I’ll share some principles that I’ve found to be extremely helpful in stimulating powerful change.

Sadness & Grief: Proof you’ve stopped going in the wrong direction:

Sadness and grief are underrated emotions.  Anger can be intoxicating in the way it makes us feel powerful and helps us to overcome obstacles.  Fear can save our life.  Envy can help us know what we want.  Guilt has the potential to help us repair relationships.  But what is sadness for?  

It may seem like retreating, leaning into our sadness, falling apart, and indulging in the pain of the moment has very few practical benefits.  I now believe that this couldn’t be any further from the truth.  Sadness serves many functions, but the way I’ve come to understand it is that it allows us to truly learn our lesson.

If you often feel like you’re reliving the same painful problem over and over again, it may be a sign that you have not truly moved on from an earlier experience that caused you pain.  You should think of the compulsion to repeat as a sign that you are trying to change the ending to an old, long-finished story.

If you can’t allow yourself to enjoy life because others are suffering, it probably means that the suffering of the world mirrors your own suffering.  Finding that pain and feeling the sadness associated with it is an essential step to moving on and growing up.

Feel your pain, shed your tears, and go through the grief.  It’s truly the best way to stop going in the wrong direction, repeating old patterns, and staying stuck in the same old self-defeating patterns.

Cultivate Habits: “mighty oaks from little acorns grow”

Real change is slow.  Most of the actions people take to address an ongoing problem is a reaction of frustration and self-hatred.  As soon as the acute pain or desperation is gone, people tend to fall right back into the patterns they are used to.  

Almost everyone has some type of demon with whom they are in a quasi-abusive relationship.  The demons of work, sleep, exercise, food, romance, etc. find a way of ingratiating themselves into the lives of most modern people.

While the most important, lasting changes often happen slowly, this does not mean that change has to be complicated or even hard.  There is an entire body of literature on habit creation that can be extremely useful.  Change usually begins with setting the intention to integrate one teeny tiny constructive action into your daily life.

Overweight? Eat one serving of green vegetables a day.  Need exercise? Do one push-up or walk one loop around the block a day.  Need a job? Send one networking email every day.

These actions need to be so small and easy that you can’t possibly fail.  Change is not just about burning the calories or getting the interview.  Change is about building trust with yourself.  It’s about creating systems that will last.  It’s about keeping the weight off, not just losing it.  

In short, change is about identity.

You need to become someone new.  You need to prove to yourself that you’re the kind of person who shows up the way you want every single day.

Find desire (and if not desire, envy):

It never fails to amaze me how many people live by the credo: “If I don’t get my hopes up, I can’t be disappointed.”  This philosophy veers into dark depressive realism very quickly.  It’s a very smooth transition into the philosophies of “I’m not disappointed because I knew I wasn’t going to work out” and “what’s the point of trying, the odds are slim that things will work out.”

Rationalizations like these can be seductive.  It’s true that having a “realistic” mentality to uncertainty braces us against life’s low points.  The catch is that our rationality diminishes excitement, joy, pleasure, and vitality.  Sure desire can be scary and vulnerable, but it’s also incredibly pleasurable.

When you live your life “in your head”, cut off from the juicy emotions of life, you’ve created a sterile existence for yourself.  Many people make this Faustian bargain of becoming too smart to enjoy life.  Nihilism is not far away once you’ve sold your soul to the devil.

Finding ways to reconnect with desire and risking disappointment is a good way out of this trap.  Many people are drawn into the popular world of “manifesting” and “law of attraction” because the practice of turning thoughts into things feels good.  Connecting with desire and dreaming of a better life are quite healthy.

For many, it’s not easy to tap back into what they want.  Hyper-rationality has taken hold of their psyche to the point of not feeling much of anything.  If this is true for you, try thinking about the people in life who seem to have everything.  Who are you most envious of?  What do they have that you want?

This is one path back into the risky but exciting world of desire.

People make the world go ‘round:

If you’re down about the world and can’t get past the egregious acts of cruelty and sensitivity you see around you, the odds are you are either isolated from others or the people you do see feel similarly to you.  Social ties are an essential part of feeling connections, meaning, hopefulness, and engagement. 

If you aren’t seeing people you care about, it’s important to find some that feel like good influences.  If you are seeing people who are just as discouraged as you about the state of the world, it’s important to bring in some fresh perspectives.

We are much more influenced by the people close to us than we are those who are far away.  This is sometimes absurd, as reflected in certain versions of the well-known trolley problem.  

The original trolley problem is the following:

There is a runaway trolley barreling down the railway tracks. Ahead, on the tracks, there are five people tied up and unable to move. The trolley is headed straight for them. You are standing some distance off in the train yard, next to a lever. If you pull this lever, the trolley will switch to a different set of tracks. However, you notice that there is one person on the side track. You have two (and only two) options:

1. Do nothing, in which case the trolley will kill the five people on the main track.

2. Pull the lever, diverting the trolley onto the side track where it will kill one person.

Which is the more ethical option? Or, more simply: What is the right thing to do?

— Philippa Foot, the Oxford Review, 1967

In the original formulation, there is no mention of physical proximity, but consider the following variation on the trolley problem:

As before, a trolley is hurtling down a track towards five people. You are on a bridge under which it will pass, and you can stop it by putting something very heavy in front of it. As it happens, there is a very fat man next to you – your only way to stop the trolley is to push him over the bridge and onto the track, killing him to save five. Should you proceed?

— Philippa Foot, the Oxford Review, 1967

The rational choice is to sacrifice one for many.  But at an emotional level, it feels wrong.  How can you take another’s life while looking them in the eyes and feeling their fear and sense of betrayal?

The tragedy and absurdity of this can be seen when we discuss topics like war and the practice of bombing cities in far away lands.  The bombing victims are like the people standing on in the path of a runaway trolley some distance off.  We can’t see their faces or register their emotions as we decide their fate.  

The power of this bias is so powerful that academic Roger Fisher came up with the following idea about how to prevent a nuclear war:

My suggestion was quite simple: Put that needed code number in a little capsule, and then implant that capsule right next to the heart of a volunteer. The volunteer would carry with him a big, heavy butcher knife as he accompanied the President. If ever the President wanted to fire nuclear weapons, the only way he could do so would be for him first, with his own hands, to kill one human being. The President says, “George, I’m sorry but tens of millions must die.” He has to look at someone and realize what death is—what an innocent death is. Blood on the White House carpet. It’s reality brought home.

When I suggested this to friends in the Pentagon they said, “My God, that’s terrible. Having to kill someone would distort the President’s judgment. He might never push the button.”

— Roger Fisher, Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists, March 1981

The point of these examples is not to criticize human nature or to stir up more feelings about the absurdity of life.  The point of discussing these quirks of humanity is to suggest ways of using these biases to your advantage.

The people close to us have a big impact on our thoughts, feelings, and worldview.  It’s become cliche to say, but I believe there is truth that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time around.  If you want to be happier, if you want a more positive outlook, and if you want to feel better about the state of the world and its future, surround yourself with people who embody the outlooks you want to cultivate.

Wrap Up:

I’ve done my best in the post above to address the very valid question of: how do we find happiness in a world where so many suffer?  Understanding the motivation for asking the question is the first challenge to finding a meaningful answer.  If we want to outgrow the question, we need to first understand what our intentions are in the asking.

I’ve argued that it’s important to be selfish.  I’ve assumed a pragmatic attitude towards selfishness, where I take no position on whether or not it’s moral to be selfish, but rather focus on the importance of being selfish in order to live a life worth living.

In the latter portion of this post, I’ve been overly ambitious in trying to define what makes a happy life and even given suggestions about how unhappy people might go about transforming their lives into more fulfilling ones.

I welcome comments, questions and elaborations that would help other readers of this post to get more answers than I can provide in such brief answers to some of life’s biggest questions.

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