All posts filed under: Psychology

psychosis

How do you know you’re in psychosis?

How does someone know if they are in psychosis?  As it turns out, this is precisely the correct question to ask.  There is a simple and interesting answer to this question.  But first, let’s begin with how NAMI (National Alliance On Mental Illness), an authority on mental illness, defines psychosis: “Most people think of psychosis as a break with reality. In a way it is. Psychosis is characterized as disruptions to a person’s thoughts and perceptions that make it difficult for them to recognize what is real and what isn’t. These disruptions are often experienced as seeing, hearing and believing things that aren’t real or having strange, persistent thoughts, behaviors and emotions. While everyone’s experience is different, most people say psychosis is frightening and confusing.” –nami.org, emphasis mine Many people associate psychosis with its dramatic symptoms of hallucinations and bizarre beliefs.  Disorganized thinking is another unmistakable sign of psychosis. These are not wrong associations.  However, the defining feature of psychosis is a lack of insight.  In other words, a true psychosis is one where the …

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How can I be happy when others are suffering?

We live in an interconnected world–a world where the 24-hour news cycle and social media confronts us with the most extreme ends of human experience.  One hour, we might be watching the Kardashians vacation or unwind in their multimillion-dollar mansion.  The next hour (or perhaps even the same hour!) we could be scrolling through instagram seeing haunting images of oppression, invasion, illness, destruction, and other powerful stories of the most profound levels of human suffering. Whether we find ourselves more engaged with those we envy or those we pity, our voyeurism is sure to leave us in a darker place than where we started. It’s true that we would be better off if we simply disengaged.  Stop doomscrolling. Stop engaging with trolls.  Stop watching the news.  Stop immersing yourself in the lives of the rich, beautiful, and overindulged.  But that advice might be skirting a very rational question: how can we be happy when others are suffering through no fault of their own? The first question: do you really want to not suffer? If you’re …

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Am I Depressed or Just Lazy?

How can I figure out if I’m depressed or just lazy? What is depression? There are many ways to define depression.  The DSM and ICD take descriptive approaches, outlining a set of symptom criteria that coincide with depressive episodes.  Psychodynamic therapists formulations explain it in theoretical terms, summarized simply as “anger turned inward.”  Behaviorists posited that depression results from a lack of reinforcement, whether positive or negative, in one’s environment.  And patriarch of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, created depression in a laboratory using dogs by applying behavioral principles. He called named is lab-induced depression “learned helplessness.” I’ll do my best here to make my own definition combining the merits of all three definitions. Let’s start with the core components.  They are: Depression is an emotional and physiological state. Depression emotionally feels like resignation, giving up, hopelessness and despair. On top of the experience of giving up, depression also registers emotionally as guilt over not being good enough and/or having failed to live up to what’s expected of him/her.  Guilt results from self-consciousness, self-critique, and what …

Dear Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse: Own Your Healthy Narcissism!

Introduction Search Narcissism on the internet and you’ll see that evocative word does not fill people up with the warm fuzzies that a word like “puppies” might. Anger, despondent wails, grievances and other cries of unfairness would overwhelm anyone who takes the time to sample content from social media, forums, and blogs on the subject. And yet I think we need to change our attitude towards the word. A revered mentor of mine, David Shapiro, used to say that he was unimpressed by Narcissism as a diagnostic label. “Everyone’s narcissistic,” he’d say. “Narcissism is a developmental stage. It’s not really a personality organization,” he elaborated.  Narcissism is one of the few topics on which Dr. Shapiro and I disagree. And even though I believe Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a very real phenomenon, Dr. Shapiro says something we should all take very seriously. That is, everyone is narcissistic. Why do we need to re-appropriate the the term “narcissism”? We’re not all narcissistic in the same way, or to the same degree, but we do all have …

Envy & Destroying Others' good fortune

Envy: The Camouflaged Emotion

More and more I encounter an emotion in patients that is quiet, hidden, nagging, and insidious.  Most people seem surprised when it’s named, and the notion of inviting an open exploration of the feeling in their relationships seems quite unthinkable.  To own the emotion feels shameful, and the detection of said emotion elicits guilt in the perceiver. It’s a primitive feeling we can easily recognize, yet conveniently tend not to take notice of.  What is the feeling?   Envy. It’s at the heart of relationship problems, in families and between lovers.  Its corrosive properties lurk at the heart of political divides and toxic discourse.  Individuals and groups grow further apart and disparities emerge, more seeds of envy are sewn. What is the Experience of Envy? One thing I find interesting about envy is that it is much easier to feel than it is to define.  As stated above, it’s primitive and easy to access in our bodies. But what exactly is it?   Before defining it, I invite you to feel in your body.  Bring to mind …